Oh my God! For several days i have had periods of anger and depression with them becoming increasingly extreme and easily provoked. Yesterday i was basically either raging or crying all day and was in and out of my spot a million times. i'm writing this now because i actually feel lucid at the moment.
Master has been awesome and i have been insane. Part of my insanity has included a great deal of anger in His direction. At who else would i direct it? He is here.
So, my Master...
- for telling me you love me even when i keep telling you don't
- for acting as if my lunacy is normal
- for reassuring me despite my unwillingness to be reassured
- for bearing the brunt of the hostility that has little to do with you
- for not immediately trying to manipulate me into calling my shrink for more drugs like j always did
- for a BILLION other things, both ones i notice and ones of which i'm not even aware...
Thank you for having the patience of a saint and putting up with me. Thank you for being my Master. i love you even if my sick mind tells me otherwise sometimes . i love you even if my vicious mouth tells you otherwise sometimes. i love you, plain and simple, pure and true. i love you.
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