all i thought i valued,
A life predictably secure,
For the true course i am destined to charter,
The Gor books my travel brochure.
This mantra keeps me focused.
Its truth has now become my creed.
Liberation is torture.
Through submission i am freed.
Where now are the fears
that hobble with their grasp,
Anxieties once my slaver?
They've shrunken to size, parasitic no more,
Today it's happiness i savor.
This mantra keeps me focused.
Its truth has now become my creed.
Liberation is torture.
Through submission i am freed.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i feel as if i am ducking the question, as if i SHOULD have stronger worries and doubts than i do. But i don't want it to become a self-fulfilling prophesy either. Today WAS wrought with emotion as Master suggested. i was HAPPY. Honestly, truly, purely happy. i felt settled, calm and content, as i haven't in years.
i don't feel trapped but embraced. i keep looking for a loophole, a problem, as if i'm not allowed to be happy... not even allowed to write about it. The truth is that, for all my concerns, by far the most prevalent emotion is happiness and a huge sense of relief. i don't know why i feel as if i'm shirking some kind of duty by NOT being unhappy and having some sort of misery to write about. i really don't think i even know how to be happy without getting in my own way.
i guess that is the revelation of the day.
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