Better

i thought i was doing better. i KNOW i've been feeling better, so much more content and calm. But i haven't been doing better. There just haven't been any people to butt heads with. It's not hard to do well when there's no one to have a conflict with. i pretty much only respond to Alex when i must. i'm in the same boat with her as with v i think. i don't know. When i get like this i know see things in a totally skewed way. And now i feel as i always do at these times, physically sick. my stomach is in knots and i want to cry even more than i already did but Master told me to stop so it will have to wait. This is even less coherent than the last entry so i guess i'll just stop now. What's the point?