A Couple More Thoughts

Two things that have been a bit hard to adjust to, not in bad ways, but in terms of needing to remind myself that this is how things are:

One is having plans change or be up in the air. i don't know what we will be doing until Master says so and then it often changes anyhow. That is a little unsettling for me, i guess, a direct illustration of my lack of control. i am so used to deciding what will happen, when, and how. If i am forced into a situation in which someone else has control, it has made me crazy in the past and i have had to know every detail in advance. God help the world if anything changed either. Going with the flow, someone else's flow, is unnerving for me. It's not the challenge here that it would have been in my old life but it's still uncomfortable.

Number two is the one thing that i've actually found at all grating. One might expect it to be wearing a collar... being chained to sleep... being called beast.... any number of things. Nope. i am actually used to an extreme amount of privacy and i have always found personal inquiries intrusive and refused to respond. So when Master asks who i'm getting a text from or what i'm doing online, my gut reaction is to think things such as "what's it to you?" and "bite me". i've managed to answer appropriately and without obvious strain but it has taken effort. It's getting easier though.

Just figured i may as well lay it all on the line here, both to explore my thoughts and to have something to look back upon from a later date and see how things have changed...