The Moment of Truth

My first thought was to say that there was no real moment when i knew i was slave.  In considering that further, though, i think i can identify the turning point.  Writing in this blog after Master whipped me, i did feel a piece of the puzzle snap into place.  And with that the balance was tipped from me being free in my mind or thinking i can juggle the impossible duality to the definite and liberating realization that i am slave.  Since then, it has been increasing.  It's not absolute, not yet, and i know that puts me at risk for getting in my own way again.  

The funny thing about that moment is that it wasn't actually the idea that i am slave which was highlighted directly.  It was the idea that i was wrong.  i had truly been so arrogant as to think i couldn't be, not when i was so sure i was right.  The epiphany that i could be that blind to something which was, in hindsight and with the clarity of fresh lash marks on my flash, so obvious was truly a wake-up call for me.  It was in that moment that i really started to give myself over to Master, vowing to let myself trust Him, believing that He DOES know better than i do.