My List of "What Ifs"

What if...

-Master hates me

-i can't handle being kajira

-Master hates me

-i regret leaving j

-Master hates me

-i regret leaving my job

-Master hates me

-my depression gets worse

-Master hates me

-i do something really stupid and Master uncollars me

-Master hates me

-there's not enough money to live on

-i get jealous of v

-Master hates me

-we never have sex

-Master hates me

-i freak out entirely

-Master hates me

-we have sex but it's terrible

-Master hates me

-i get claustrophobic in a cell

-Master hates me

-there's only ramen noodles and microwave burritos

-Master hates me

-i want to leave and have nowhere to go

-Master hates me

-v and i don't get along irl

-Master hates me

-i can't be what Master wants and needs and deserves

-Master hates me

-i find hard limits i hadn't anticipated

-Master hates me

-there's not enough of Master to go around

-Master hates me

-i can't get my medications

-Master hates me

-i'm allergic to something Master or v wear

-Master hates me

-v hates me

-Master hates me

-i can't handle their smoking

-Master hates me

-eve comes back

-Master hates me

-i hate the physical aspect of wearing a collar

-Master hates me

-i can't handle the initiatory whipping

-Master hates me

-my crappy housekeeping skills are inadequate

-Master hates me

-i can't control my sarcastic mouth

-Master hates me

-i don't get enough intellectual stimulation and my brain shrivels

-Master hates me

-i can't handle the hot weather

-Master hates me

-there's only spicy food

-Master hates me

-i can't ever nadu for long

-Master hates me

-Master collars more girls irl

-Master hates me

-Master won't accept a hard limit

-Master hates me

-Master decides He isn't Master

-Master hates me

-i find it unbearably boring

-Master hates me

-i am mean to Master

-Master hates me

-i am mean to v

-Master hates me

-i am mean to Free

-Master hates me

-i can't handle Master's traveling

-Master hates me

-i disappoint Master

-Master hates me

-i'm too self-centered

-Master hates me

-Master dies

-Master hates me

Or what if:

Many of my worries don't come to fruition and those that do i cope with as they arise.  i actually allow myself to be loved and come to believe myself worthy of it.  i find the happiness that has always been so elusive and depression finally ceases to cripple me.