Needing to Get the Casualty Count Down

Master feels... i won't presume to know what exactly but something unpleasant and undeserved... because of me. Ossy feels crummy because of me, in his own words. rau called and wanted to help and i had to hang up because i was crying and don't know HOW to let anyone help me. v knew what was going on so she had to have been worrying about Master if not me too. All of this has me feeling lower than dirt and wanting to damage Master's property. i wouldn't dare. That's not my point. my point is that i HAVE to find a way to go through whatever it is i go through without hurting anyone else. my actions today have been totally unfair and selfish.