On Edge

Okay, my nerves are shot and i'm well aware of it so i'll put this here instead of whining about it irl.

Master was getting annoyed that mikenumbers on SL kept repeatedly IMing Him to get His attention for his Mistress Sherri. With Master's permission, i IMed mikenumbers and told Him that Master's not responding means He is busy and to back off. i wasn't nice about it. i didn't need to be. he is slave too.

[2009/05/11 18:54] If Master does not respond it means He is busy. Trying again and again to get His attention only interferes with His finishing up what He is busy with. This irritates Him (not to mention me) and delays His fishing His task and responding to you. Contact Him once and BACK OFF.

Then he IMed me the word "no" before sending another IM that the word had been intended for another chat window.

[2009/05/11 19:05] It better have been!

he asked what i meant by that response.

[2009/05/11 19:09] That if i had told you to back off my Master and your response had been "no" then you would NOT be happy with the results

That's pretty much what i do for Master on SL. i keep idiots at bay when He allows me to do so. i'm good at it and i enjoy it.

Then Mistress Sherri IMed me and said that mikenumbers had been contacting Master on her behalf which i had already known. she even apologized for his intrusiveness if not in the most coherent English.

[2009/05/11 19:19] HI sorry mike was bothering your master. but it was me that want to speek to him.

i answered her respectfully.

[2009/05/11 19:21] Yes, Mistress. It was just his method of IMing Him over and over and over again. If my Master doesn't respond to an IM, there is a reason and mike needs to know not to keep sending more.

She seemed fine with that and the conversation ended.

[2009/05/11 19:21] ok

It seemed as if all was well until she then IMed my Master complaining about how i had spoken to everyone, including Him, at some earlier time and asserting that i should be made to apologize to all who were present. That she did this isn't what has me upset because people are idiots as do idiotic things constantly, wholly unaware of their own idiocy. First of all, if Master has a problem with my conduct it is His place to address it. She had no business bringing it up with Him because He had been present for it and was therefore already aware of it. Who is she to tell Him what behavior He should tolerate and how He should respond to it? Also, i hadn't even been signed onto SL at the time but she'd heard me in the background through Master's microphone. i don't even know what offended her or recall the conversation to which she was referring. It's irrelevant. i could have blown it off pretty easily though, even in my present frame of mind. Except...

Master's response to her, in an effort to shut her up so He didn't have to deal with her, was to tell her that i've had a bad day and that He has handled it. Um? As to my having had a bad day, the understatement of the century, i recognize that i'm not entitled to any privacy so, despite my not liking His saying that, it would be beyond unreasonable for me to complain about it. However, i feel like His appeasement of her confirmed in her mind that i had done something wrong when i hadn't and reinforced her being out of line with Him. i guess it shouldn't matter to me and i know i'm in an oversensitive mood but i feel as if He sold me out for the sake of convenience. Why should she be told that He had to handle something with me when there was nothing to handle? Saying that was the same as saying she was right about my alleged misconduct. i do enough wrong that it really sucks to have been fine in this instance and still be blamed. Master was totally within His rights to do that, just as He is within them to do anything else He wishes as well, but it sucks. It sucks that i made an effort to be polite to her when i was going to get blamed anyhow and it sucks even more that Master didn't defend Himself and me if He chose to humor her complaint at all. Master didn't punish me for any of the millions things i legitimately did do wrong today, though, and that was cool. i need to focus on that. i'm just so raw right now that the smallest thing hurts. i know that rationally even if i can't rid myself of the feelings yet.