One More Thing

i'd always thought that begging forgiveness was for Master's benefit, that He was owed an apology and that i was giving Him that to which He was entitled. While that may be true, i learned yesterday that it is closer to being entirely backwards than accurate. When i tried to beg forgiveness yesterday, Master wouldn't allow me to. He wouldn't hear it. He'd never refused to let me before but He did yesterday and it was horrible. i learned something from it though. Begging forgiveness is for ME. i always saw it as a means of humbling myself and admitting culpability and taking a step toward making things right. But i'd thought i was doing those things for Him. When He didn't allow me, i realized that i truly am entitled to nothing He doesn't grant, even the privilege of begging His forgiveness. i would have given anything if He'd just have heard my words. That new perspective profoundly changes the way i'm viewing things.